


Do you even lift, bro?

by Drosolmire



Category: Miraculous Ladybug
Genre: Adrien is ripped too, F/M, Gabby is a sweet old man now, Kim is super ripped, Oh, and Marinette has abs, lol
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-05
Updated: 2016-12-05
Packaged: 2018-09-06 16:50:14
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,690
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8761129
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Drosolmire/pseuds/Drosolmire
Summary: “Weird,” he thought long and hard about what he had just saw; sure, Marinette was hot in that getup but what he found strange was how damn built she was.“When did Marinette have abs?”





	

**Author's Note:**

> He-hey, friend-o's! I'm back!  
> Man, it's been so long since I last updated; 'cause a bunch of serious stuff came up and I had to go on a short ("short") hiatus for a while.  
> Anyway, here's a sort of "prequel" to Frisky, as requested by Darkqueen35!
> 
> A.K.A the story where Kim can figure out a person just by their bod

“Damn it.” groaning under his breath, Kim pushed his hands further into the pockets of his jeans while his fingers played with whatever his pockets contained.

Discarding one hand from inside of his pants and reaching for one of his back pockets, Kim made sure that he had his wallet with him _this_ time.

He wouldn’t want to come back to his apartment just to get yelled at by Alix again.

“It’s been years,” he speaks to himself, fondly remembering when Alix (finally) agreed to become his girlfriend “But this whole _period thing_ still pisses me off.”

“Like, if it comes every month why the fuck not buy a shit ton of tampons in advance?!” Kim groaned, effectively pushing his hoodie off of his head.

Not bothering to put the hood back on, Kim continued to groan and grumble as he made his way towards the nearest grocery or drug store that he could find.

He was hardly ever in this predicament, though. Alix had always been conscious about her cycle, and this was just one of those “hey-what-the-fuck-is-up?” things.

Imagine waking up to your girlfriend screaming and cursing like a sailor; accompanied with bloodstains on your sheets.

Needless to say, Kim was really surprised when Alix had ordered him to go out to buy her tampons; at four in the morning, no less.

Sighing in disbelief, Kim furrowed his brows when he had passed by the Dupain-Cheng bakery. Eyeing the smoke coming out from behind the building, he surmised that the Dupain-Cheng’s were preparing their first batch of the day.

Kim had always loved their muffins, and he still does. If he was lucky, maybe they’d be open once he’s on his way back to his apartment.

“Oh, Kim!” a familiar voice rang through his ears, and he turned to look at the source “Good morning!”

Marinette smiled as she waved at him, jogging over towards Kim and slowing her pace so that she moved along with him.

“Hey,” Kim smiled a bit, furrowing his brows as he noticed Marinette’s getup “You out for a jog?”

“Oh!” she suddenly felt very self-conscious and pulled at her sports bra downward “Yeah, I was. But I didn’t expect to bump into you, though.”

Shrugging, Kim averted his eyes. Sporting a navy blue sports bra that reached only up ‘til above her belly button and a pair of leggings reminiscent of what she wore back at collège. What Marinette wore would make any man blush.

But Kim was too preoccupied with his current task, and thus, cannot ogle and admire as much as he wanted to.

“Yeah, I was just on my way to buy tampons.” he deadpanned, feeling completely comfortable with Marinette; especially since they’ve been friends for almost a decade now.

Nodding her head, Marinette quickly understood “There’s this convenience store at the next block, I’m not sure if they’re open yet, though.”

Kim’s face suddenly lit up and he turned to smile at Marinette “Really? Thanks! I thought I was going to walk a few more kilometers before I find a store.”

Marinette smiled back and started quickening her pace “Okay! See you later, Kim!” she waved goodbye before jogging past him.

Watching Marinette’s shrinking figure, Kim’s eye did not stop following her until she disappeared when she took a right on the next block.

“Weird,” he thought long and hard about what he had just saw; sure, Marinette was hot in that getup but what he found strange was how _damn built_ she was.

“When did Marinette have abs?”

 ---

“Oh, nah, Mari’s always been pretty buff,” Alix, who was eating the ice cream that Kim bought, straight from the container, shook her head “She’s had this whole gym bod even back in collège.”

“Really?” Kim frowned “So she goes to gym?”

Shrugging, Alix placed the container of ice cream on the table in front of her “Probably not,” standing up and making her way towards their refrigerator, she poured herself a glass of water “If she did, she’d be ripped right now.”

“Her arms are pretty big, though.” Kim continued to analyze Marinette’s image in his mind.

“But not _that_ big.” Alix made her way towards him and gave one of his large shoulders a punch “If she did go to gym, she probably’d look like you.”

Snorting, Kim shook his head “That wouldn’t fit her at all.”

“Exactly,” Alix took a sip from her glass and closed her eyes “Maybe she does sports or martial arts.”

“Only logical reason I can think of.” she shrugged.

Kim nodded his head in agreement “True.”

“So, whaddya think of Mari?” Alix raised an eyebrow curiously, but Kim saw the challenge in her eyes.

“She’s okay,” Kim shrugged “Was just a little surprised to see her like that.”

“That all?” Alix frowned a bit.

“Ah, God, we’re not having this conversation,” Kim stood up and raised his hands in defeat “You’re more pissed than usual, so let’s leave it at that.”

Slamming her glass on the table, Alix crossed her arms “Try me.”

Frowning and sighing in disbelief when Alix had glared at him, Kim shook his head “Fine, she’s hot.”

“She’s got that whole shy girl thing going on which makes her more appealing.” Kim frowned when Alix had silently asked him to go on.

“ _Her ass is great._ ” he hesitated for a moment before saying that.

“But I like your ass better,” Kim pushed his hands inside of his pant pockets “It’s a lot rounder and probably a lot softer compared to hers.”

“Plus it’s mine so I can do whatever I want with it-“

 ---

“Your face is swollen,” Max readjusted his glasses and scrutinized Kim’s left cheek “Did you get into a street fight?”

Hissing in irritation, Kim shook his head “I wish.”

“Ah, waiter!” Max called out to a waiter that passed by and took one quick glance at the menu again “I’ll have an Earl Grey and a cheese bagel.”

“Kim, did you want anything?” turning to look at his friend slightly with concern, Max smiled when he had noticed the irritation on Kim’s face; which was silently telling him to stop treating him like a child.

“Just a glass of water, thanks.” Kim smiled sheepishly at the waiter.

“Oh, and do bring an ice pack for my friend.” Max stifled a snicker “Thank you.”

“So, you were kicked out by Alix,” Kim raised an eyebrow at the tone of Max’s voice “My, how unfortunate.”

“Don’t make it sound like I have fucking stage three cancer, man!” frowning but smiling nonetheless when Max had erupted into genuine laughter, Kim leaned on the table and gingerly poked on the lump on his left cheek.

“I’m sorry,” taking off his glasses and wiping away a tear of mirth, Max rode out the last of his amusement with two more short chuckles “This just hardly ever happens, is all.”

“I know, right?” slumping on the table and hissing in pain when his cheek had made contact with the table, Kim swiftly raised his head up and started rubbing the lump gingerly.

“Sir?” the same waiter from before appeared right beside Kim “Here’s your ice pack.” the young man smiled as he offered him the bag of ice.

“Ah, thanks.” Kim smiled, taking the ice pack from the waiter and quickly pressing it against his swollen cheek.

“I apologize, sir,” the waiter then turned to look at Max sheepishly “It would seem that we are still baking the bagels, would you mind waiting for them?”

Checking on his wristwatch, Max furrowed his brows “Cancel my order, and just get me my tea, please.”

“Alright, sir.” the waiter nodded his head and rushed off towards the counter, informing the cashier of the update on Max and Kim’s orders.

“You need to be somewhere?” Kim hissed in pain as he pressed the ice pack a tad bit too much against his cheek.

“I have an engagement with mister Agreste,” thrumming the fingertips of his right hand on the table, Max looked over to the counter and saw the waiter put a glass of water and a mug on a tray “I have schematics for one of his warehouses.”

“Adrien’s old man?” Kim raised an eyebrow out of curiosity “Warehouse?”

“Yes,” turning to look at the waiter who had placed their drinks in front of the two men, Max smiled “Ah, thank you.”

“I’m an architect, remember?” Max furrowed his brows and snickered when Kim made a “oh-that’s-right” look on his face.

Wafting the steam coming from his beverage towards his nose, Max revelled in its scent “You can come along if you want.”

“Wouldn’t that be against the whole professionalism thing?” Kim took a drink from his glass and slightly slumped in his seat.

“Well, you’re my friend,” taking a sip from his tea and placing it back on the table, Max smiled “Plus it’s not like you’re going to act like a child in front of my client.”

“…Right?”

“Hell I won’t, Jesus!” Max laughed at Kim’s response, to which Kim replied with a snicker of his own.

 ---

“Mister Kante,” Gabriel gestured towards one of the seats in front of his desk “Take a seat.”

Nodding in agreement and taking a seat as he was instructed, Max turned around to look at Kim and was about to tell him to just wait for him outside of Gabriel’s office when said man had spoken first.

“Mister… Lê Chiến, if I’m not mistaken?” Gabriel’s features softened when Kim had nodded a bit sheepishly at him “I don’t mind, please do take a seat as well.”

Clearing his throat when Kim had taken his seat, Gabriel smiled “So, how are the schematics going?”

“My division had just finished up a day ago, mister Agreste,” opening his briefcase and taking out the single blue cylinder from inside of it, Max opened it and laid out the blueprint for Gabriel’s warehouse on the table in front of him.

“We were debating on whether or not we were going to go with the flat ceiling,” flipping the blueprint around so Gabriel could see it normally and not reversed, Max pointed towards the upper portion of the building “But that would prove to incur little to no amount of air flow, easily making the inside of the building rather humid.”

“Seeing as how we’ve estimated mid-summer to be the end of construction for the warehouse, we opted for the dome ceiling, instead.”

A small smile tugged at the corner of Gabriel’s lips “Good work.”

“Thank you, sir.” Max nodded his head and let go of the blueprint when Gabriel had taken hold of it to take a better look.

“How have you boys been?” Gabriel spoke from behind the blueprint, and Max was a bit taken aback by the sudden question.

“Pardon?” Max furrowed is brows.

“Have you two been doing well?” putting down the blueprint on the table and pushing it towards Max, Gabriel smiled when Max was at a seeming loss for words.

“Oh, we’re doing fine, mister Agreste,” Kim answered for Max “Usual stuff is all.”

“That’s good to hear,” Gabriel nodded his head “Well, I am pleased by your division’s work, mister Kante.”

“We’ll start construction by next week.”

 ---

“Has Adrien’s old man always been that… _nice?_ ” Kim frowned at Max.

“He’s always been rather stoic, but he wasn’t necessarily cold,” Max shrugged “And besides, he became a lot more approachable after we all graduated from collège.”

“I, uh, don’t remember that.” Kim tried his best to remember his most recent personal experience with Gabriel- which was around half a decade ago.

“Trust me, he’s always been like that-“ Max turned to his left when the large white door had slowly swung open, and showcased a half-naked and sweat drenched Adrien.

“Oh, Max!” Adrien smiled “How’s the meeting with my dad?”

“Good,” Max smiled as he readjusted his glasses “We start construction on the warehouse next week.”

“Ohh, nice!” Adrien raised a thumbs up for Max “Good luck, man!”

Adrien flinched in surprise when booming laughter entered his ears “Holy _shit_!”

“Adrien Agreste? _The Adrien Agreste?_ ” Kim laughed harder “Someone’s been busy working out all these years, huh?”

Adrien’s eyes widened with glee when he had seen an all too familiar face “Kim!” rushing over to him, Adrien smiled “Oh, man, I haven’t seen you in months!”

“Yeah, being a gym instructor isn’t a pretty free job if you catch my drift,” Kim smiled back, and offered Adrien a fist bump, to which he happily gave back “Damn, dude, you’re pretty ripped.”

Max snorted “That’s ironic coming from the biggest meathead in the room.”

“Hey!” Kim shoved Max away playfully “I’m just stating facts, man!”

“So, you like go to gym now?” Kim turned back to smile at Adrien, to which he replied with a shake of his head.

“Oh, nah, I just kind of have my own personal gym, yeah?” pushing the door behind him open showcased a rather impressive array of gym equipment and paraphernalia.

“Oh, damn.” Kim gawked as he entered the large room “This place is fucking awesome!”

“You _gotta_ let me and Alix train here sometime,” turning to Adrien and taking one of his hands in both of his own, Kim gave him a pleading look “Like, all this stuff’s cutting edge and shit!”

“Oh, yeah, sure!” Adrien nodded his head excitedly “It’d be fun to train with other people once in a while.”

“Just give me a call if you guys are coming over, alright?”

 ---

“That place was fucking _lit_ , man!” Kim’s smile from ten minutes ago still haven’t left his face.

“ _Lit?_ ” Max snickered “I haven’t heard you say that for years now.”

Kim laughed “Sorry, dude, I’m just too pumped to think straight!”

“Think? Now, that’s dangerous for someone like you, Kim.” Max raised an eyebrow incredulously.

“Oh, shut up!”

 ---

“Oh, man, that is pretty fucking _lit_.” Alix nodded her head absentmindedly after Kim had just finished describing to her what different apparatus could be found in Adrien’s personal gym room.

“I know, right?” Kim leaned on his couch, admiring the way its softness clung to his tired body.

“We gotta go there as soon as we can!” Alix hopped from her seat “I can’t wait to test out those bad boys!”

“Can’t tomorrow, though,” Kim shrugged “Adrien’s booked for the whole day.”

“Aw, damn it.” Alix flopped to her seat, looking slightly dejected.

“Oh, come on, Pink, cheer up!” Kim smiled “Tell you what, how about I go and make those “shitty Vietnamese noodles” that you love so much.”

Alix snarled at Kim’s mischievous tone but her face lit up nonetheless “I’d kill for some of that right now!”

“So is the whole craving thing just for pregnant women or does it also affect them when their periods hit?” Kim raised an eyebrow of genuine curiosity.

“Both, and I’m not pregnant!” Alix rolled her eyes “You haven’t fucked me for weeks, you idiot!”

“Ohh, is that why you’re so pissed?” Kim smirked “Are your toys not good enough to scratch your itch?”

“Just make me those damn shitty Vietnamese noodles already!”

 ---

“Damn it.” Kim groaned from under his breath, still not believing the fact that their pantry was fresh out of noodles. And now he’s going to have to go back to that same convenience store from earlier that morning to go restock.

Seeing the convenience store a good distance away, Kim smiled “Finally, I can buy some damned pasta and be on my wa-“

The front door of the convenience store burst open and a large squid like creature crawled out with a shriek.

“What the fuck?!” Kim furrowed his brows and upon further inspection, the thing was actually made of _noodles_.

“If I can’t-a make pasta dishes then no one-a can!” the creature bellowed and sloshed off towards the opposite street.

Running towards the convenience store, Kim quickly saw the terrified cashier and rushed towards the woman “Are you okay?!”

“Y-Yes, I’m fine!” the cashier breathed frantically “Thank God that thing only took all the noodles and didn’t hurt anybody!”

“Oh, man!” Kim sighed in relief with a smile “That is a rel-“

“WHAT?!” the cashier shrieked in surprise at Kim’s outburst “That thing stole all the noodles?!”

“Y-yes, sir-“ the woman shrunk back when Kim had groaned.

“Oh, damn it all!” tugging at his hair, Kim eyed the shrinking figure of the monster “Hey! Wait for me, ya slimy noodle-y bastard!”

 ---

“Ladybug! Chat-a Noir!” slinging giant balls of pasta at civilians and vehicles “Come a-out and give me your miraculous!”

“Geez, don’t go getting your _penne’s_ in a twist!” Chat snickered as Ladybug slapped her face with her hand.

“Seriously, Chat?” Ladybug groaned “Every time?”

“Oh, you know you love me for that, my lady~” Chat winked at her, to which she replied with a roll of her eyes.

“Let’s just get this over with,” Ladybug leaped from her perch and swung her yo-yo wide, slicing the pasta monster horizontally clean in half “I’ve got work to do.”

“I’d love to take a long bath,” Chat sighed dreamily as he thought about his bathtub at home whilst slamming his extended staff down on the face of the akuma “I’ve been working all day, and suddenly this joker comes out to play.”

“Oh, my, such a tired _wittle kitten_.” Ladybug snickered, earning her a snort form Chat.

“But, you know, a single kiss from you would drain me of my fatigue completely-“

Kicking Chat in the gut and effectively helping him dodge an attack from the akuma, Ladybug stifled a laugh “Focus, Chat, we both want this to end quickly.”

“Roger!” Chat grinned, extending his staff and propelling himself upward in the process.

“Hey, pasta-face!” pulling his staff upward and gritting his teeth, Chat slammed his staff down with all his might, incapacitating the akuma in the process.

Ladybug whistled “Wow, you’ve gotten stronger.”

Landing beside her with a large grin, Chat shook his head “Oh, your words of praise are like music to my ears, my lady.”

The pasta monster shrunk, until it was roughly the size of an adult man “Now, let’s see-“ Ladybug’s eyes widened and she smiled “Found it!”

Taking a pack of unopened pasta from the akuma’s “shirt pocket”, Ladybug waved it in the air “I think this is where the akuma is!”

Chat nodded his head “Yeah, it is pretty out of place with his whole get up and all.”

“Weeell, let’s get this over with!” Chat stretched his arms upwards “I’ve got a date with a bathtub at home.”

Ladybug rolled her eyes and shrieked in surprise when Chat had whispered in her ear “You’re more than welcome to join me~”

“I’ve got work to do,” Ladybug snorted “But I appreciate the offer.”

Chat’s shoulders slumped, but he smiled nonetheless “Ah, well.”

“WAIT!” Ladybug flinched in surprise just as she was to break the pack of noodles in half.

“Kim?” Chat furrowed his brows.

“Ladybug, wait!” Kim huffed a bit “I need those noodles.”

“What?” Ladybug frowned “What for?”

“I, err, need them to make a dish for my girlfriend.” Kim gulped audibly, feeling a bit tense around the two heroes.

“Oh, don’t worry about it, then!” Chat draped his arm around Kim’s large shoulder “Just let LB do her magic and-“

“You don’t understand!” Kim grit his teeth “That was the only convenience store close to our apartment and she’s going to _kill me_ if I don’t come home with noodles to cook with right now!”

“I-It’s going to be fine, Kim!” Ladybug smiled nervously “I’ll just purify the akuma and everything will be back to-“

Kim snatched the pack of noodles away with a surprisingly quick swipe “I-I’m sorry Ladybug!” Kim pursed his lips and turned around to run away “I promise I’ll make it up to the both of yo-“

“Now, that’s no way to treat a lady, right?” Chat suddenly appeared in front of the fleeing Kim “Hand over the noodles and everything will be fine.”

Kim shook his head “Stop wasting my time! If I don’t get these home soon, Alix is _seriously_ going to kill me!” shoving Chat away, Kim made a run for it but fell down and tripped thanks to Chat’s staff.

“Just listen for a moment!” Chat growled “Let Ladybug purify the akuma and everything is going to be ok-“

Kim pushed himself off of the floor with a rising kick, hitting Chat square in the jaw.

“Holy shit! I-I’m so sorry, Chat Noir I didn’t mean t-“

Falling to the floor and gasping for air when a sharp kick had connected to his side, Kim writhed in pain as a searing heat spread from the right side of his stomach.

“Chat!” Ladybug screamed “Why did you go and attack a civilian?!”

Chat snapped out of his retaliative daze and his eyes widened out in horror “Oh no… oh no… OH NO-“

Falling to the ground when Kim had suddenly rushed him with a straight to the stomach, Chat gasped out in pain as he grit his teeth from the pain.

Staring at Kim incredulously, Chat furrowed his brows as sweat trickled down his face; only high-level akuma could manage to do _this_ much damage to him.

How come Kim, a normal human, could?

“God damn it, stop hitting me!” Kim screamed out in agitation “I can’t help but hit back when I’m hit, okay!”

Placing the pasta on the ground and extending a hand to Chat, Kim hissed at how much damage Chat seemingly took from his well-aimed punch “Dude, I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to hit you right in the solar plex-“

“Adrien?” Kim furrowed his brows as he noticed the uncanny similarities between Adrien and the writhing hero beneath him, and Chat suddenly tensed up “ _What the fuck_ , Adrien is that you?”

“A-Adrien?” Chat laughed nervously “I-I don’t know who that is-“

“Don’t fuck with me, man!” Kim suddenly pulled Chat up and scrutinized his face up close “You really _are_ Adrien! Adrien Agreste!”

“Hold on a moment, Kim!” Chat grit his teeth “You’re probably mistaking me for- hey!”

“Take off that stupid mask, dude!” Kim smiled and tried to pry off the mask on Chat’s face, in vain, however “The hell? Why won’t it come off?”

“Ow! Ow! OW!” shoving Kim away, Chat frowned and rubbed at his face “Cut that out, Kim, Jesus!”

“It stays on like that during the transformation, okay?” huffing and crossing his arms, Chat shook his head “Now, just let LB do her thing so everything can be fixed and you can get your noodles.”

Snorting, Kim smirked “So you aren’t denying the fact that you’re Adrien?”

Chat pursed his lips and shrugged “Guess the _cat’s outta the bag_ , eh?” turning to look at Ladybug; Chat furrowed his brows when she had this look of mortification on her face.

“You’re Adrien?!” Ladybug gasped in surprise “B-But that doesn’t make any sense!”

“Well, I’m sorry if you’re disappointed, my lady,” Chat smiled apologetically “But I kind of am Adrien Agreste.”

“Oh my God.” Ladybug tugged at her hair “ _Oh my God._ ”

Kim snickered “Jesus Christ, Ladybug,” Kim ambled on towards Ladybug “You’ve been partners for almost a decade now and you still haven’t figured who Chat Noir was under the mask?”

“All I did was look at him hard enough and-“

“And…”

“Holy shit.” Kim frowned and held Ladybug on the shoulders, effectively surprising her “ _Holy fucking shit_.”

“K-Kim?” Ladybug frowned and her eyes widened in disbelief as she surmised what had Kim so shocked.

“D-Don’t say anything, Ki-“

“Marinette?”  looking to her face, then to her body then back to her face, Kim’s jaw dropped “Holy shit, no wonder you got abs!” he laughed “You’ve been beating up bad guys since we were at collège, Jesus!”

“Marinette? _Marinette Dupain-Cheng?_ ” Chat frowned “ _Really?”_

“N-No!” Ladybug laughed nervously “Kim’s just disoriented form all this! Right, Kim!”

“Hell no I’m not, Marinette!” Kim snorted and crossed his arms “Man, no wonder you two are so damn built!” he laughed.

“You seriously found us out based on our body structure?” Chat furrowed his brows, not believing Kim’s perceptiveness, not that he thought he was stupid, to be that sharp.

Kim shook his head “I work as a gym instructor, bud, of course I’d know what an individual’s body looks like.”

“And just earlier today I caught a glimpse of both of yours.” Kim smiled triumphantly “Man, what are the odds?”

Chat still couldn’t wrap his head around it “I still don’t understand how-“

“A-ha! You imbeciles let-a me recuperate enough!” the akuma stood up and started assimilating back to its previous size “I shall destroy you both! Including that meddlesome meatball-!”

“Oh, shut up!” Kim leapt and punched the akuma square in the jaw, rendering it unconscious almost instantly.

Ladybug and Chat watched on with awe as Kim single-handedly defeated an akuma using his fist.

“So, uh, you ever wanted to try being a superhero?” Chat draped an arm around Kim’s shoulder and smirked.

“Nah, not my style.” Kim shrugged as he picked up the pasta from the ground and handed it to Ladybug.

 ---

“So, you guys have been partners for _years_ and you haven’t figured each other out up ‘til I came along?” Kim almost choked on his drink “Damn, that’s fucking hilarious!”

“I just didn’t want to endanger Cha- _Adrien_ by disclosing my personal identity to him,” Marinette shrugged “Hawkmoth would go great lengths just to steal our miraculous.”

“But didn’t you guys beat that hawk dude years ago?” Kim drank from his smoothie, absolutely engrossed by the stories that Adrien and Marinette have been telling him for the past few hours.

“Well, yeah,” Adrien shrugged “But akumas still keep popping up from time to time, so we really can’t say for sure if that’s just random or there’s another guy pulling the strings from the backstage.”

“Oh, yeah, makes sense,” Kim shrugged “But seriously, you guys didn’t even _suspect_ the other being a person you knew?”

“Loads of times, really,” Marinette laughed “But it would have been fruitless knowing who we were under the mask anyway.”

“I don’t think so,” Kim smirked “So, you guys plan on going out or-?”

Blood rushed to Adrien’s face “W-Well, you could say that-“

Kim caught a glimpse of the wall clock that hung by the door “OH SHIT!” rushing off towards the packaged food section and buying some noodles, Kim rushed past the two and started spitting out profanities “Alix is going to kill me! You two be safe, a’ight?”

Adrien furrowed his brows and huffed “So,” turning to look at Marinette and placing his hand on hers, he smiled widely when she made no effort to pull her hand away “Want to go out on a date with me?”

Marinette snorted “Like, right now?”

“Well, we’ve got seven years of catching up to do, right?” Adrien waggled his eyebrows, which earned him a giggle from Marinette.

“Alright, kitty, I’ve owed you at least one date.”

“Aw, just one?” Adrien blinked his eyes in surprise when Marinette had placed a quick kiss on his lips.

“It’s a process, kitty~”

 ---

“Yo, Adrien! Mind if Alix and I used yo-“

“ _Ah, fuck! Adrien, put the down the phone!  Kim’s going to hear m- FUUUCK~!”_

“Jesus Christ you two are still at it?! It’s only’ve been two days since you two started dating and you’re already-”

“ _Ah, yeah, can’t talk right now, man. I’ve got- shit! Damn, Mari, you sure are tigh-“_

“So, what did he say?” Alix tapped her foot impatiently.

“He’s, uh, busy,” Kim fumbled with his phone to end the call as he smiled nervously “With family stuff.”

“Oh, that’s cool.” Alix shrugged “But you were on loud speaker, idiot.” she smiled knowingly

“Oh, well, that’s-“ Kim was silenced when Alix had started unzipping his pants “H-hey! What the hell are you doing?!”

“We can’t be beat by those two greenhorns now, can we?” Alix smiled mischievously, licking her lips and teeth as she tugged down Kim’s boxers forcefully.

“Ah, fuck it.”

**Author's Note:**

> Alternate title: Kim is the hero we need, but no one asked for
> 
> Hope you guys enjoyed, and I really hope this makes up for my extensive absence on the site!


End file.
